Biosalong

The story of an absolutely unbearable brat of a child who never shuts up for a second about his delusions of things that go bump in the night, and freaks out everybody who interacts with him, child and adult alike.

Josh Hartnett takes his daughter to see a pop concert, and acts overtly suspicious every time he sees a cop.

The dad from Arrested Development blackmails a TSA agent to make him let a dirty bomb through security screening.

A romantic…. no, just a romance.

A somewhat influencer-y American family excitedly move to a small Norwegian village to open a B&B.

P.T.

Some teenagers are out water skiing and accidentally run over the neighbor and his little son and daughter.

A couple of non-humanoid claymation space aliens meep-meep like Beaker at each other, then laserblast a grey-skinned humanoid in the Nevada desert to kick things off.

Uncle Fester has gone missing, and a local conman who looks very much exactly like him (Christopher Lloyd a.k.a Doc) conspires to take his place and steal the Addams fortune.

A quick, low-budget, modern take on The Tell-tale Heart that mostly misses.

A top-hatted jerk flies a janky little spaceship around a desert planet.

A nostalgic sequel with as much original cast and set throwbacks as they could cram into 90 minutes, and little else.

A girl out for a suicide jog is talked down from a cliff by Finn Wittrock (man-child clown lover from American Horror Story).

Mary finds a sparkling flower which accidentally zips her off to a magical sky kingdom in the clouds.

Following up after Ready or Not, we have another family of rich people who kidnap random regular folk and send them to a mansion to be hunted to death in a non-supernatural uniting of the-wealthy-sure-have-absurd-mannerisms with the-most-dangerous-game tr…

When a Hollywood horse-wrangling father is killed in an inexplicable accident of metal bits raining from the sky, his unprepared kids (including Daniel Kaluuya of Peele's Get Out and the bike-for-points Black Mirror) are left to try to salvage his horse-w…

A slightly supernatural uniting of the-wealthy-sure-have-absurd-mannerisms with the-most-dangerous-game tropes, a woman is marrying into a family that believes it is cursed to play a game between family and family-to-be on the night before any weddings.

An everyman-forced-into-hero-by-prophecy story, where the everyman is a little Lego construction worker with no redeeming qualities who is accidentally sucked up into a secret society of "master builders" who break all of the Lego instruction manual rules…

Fleeing the American fire bombing of Japan in 1945, a young boy and his even younger sister lose their immediate family, home, and belongings.

Reeling from the suicide of her emotionally- and occasionally physically-abusive husband, Jessie Buckley (I'm Thinking of Ending Things) goes to stay in a quaint little British village where all of the men are Rory Kinnear (the pig-fucking prime minister…

A ragtag ensemble of permanently down-on-their-luck homeless people find an abandoned infant crying in a pile of trash.

I'm in the mood for movies with complete sentences for names, but I don't know what this sentence means.

It's from 2024, but it opens with a shot of a suburban street absolutely covered in sidewalk chalk.

Small-town suburban Minnesota, reeling from a string of unsolved serial killings, gets its first lead when the head detective's football-star son bangs his head during football practice and suddenly starts having perfect murder premonitions in his dreams.

Australian teenage horror drama, punctuated by loud, good rock'n'roll music.

A ludicrously fat guy, who they call a genius man-child, has invented a sci-fi device for hopping into other people's dreams.

A little testament to the history of cinema, played out via stop-motion animated gloves.

Takes place in a ridiculously awesome carved, stop-motion world of clumsy, medieval, German Expressionist-style wooden puppets.

A recent Studio Ghibli/Hayao Miyazaki film, so you know it has to be excellent.

A little pointy-faced Czech clown is just trying to make some flower pots in peace.

A recent graduate of Claymation University found a copy of a Dracula(r) horror story that his dad wrote for a school project when he was 9, and turned it into a film.

The guy from The Triplets of Belleville is back with a movie that looks exactly like The Triplets of Belleville.

Voice-over narration is never something to be taken lightly in film.

What are the chances that WOLFtober would end just 5 days before an American presidential election?

Just because I was going to hit the unreasonable number of 49 werewolf movies for WOLFtober, I had to toss something in to hit an even 50.

The third in the Ti West/Mia Goth trilogy of X and Pearl, this one is a direct sequel to X about the ongoing life of Maxine, the one girl who escaped the murderous farmhouse rampage.

Hot on the heels of and prequel to X, Mia Goth travels back in time to show us how murder farmers are born.

It's a story about some Houston strip club workers, circa 1979, renting a guest house on a Texan farm to film hardcore pornography.

A pack of ultra-Christian teenage girls in The Purge masks roam the streets of Brazil, violently beating pedestrians until they accept Jesus as their lord and savior.

An absurdist slapstick black comedy about a Jersey kid, Jeffrey, who does mad scientist body experiments in his parents' kitchen, and is forced to take it to the next level when the remote controlled lawnmower that he built for his dad accidentally mows o…

Although FAUSTfest is a future fest, I can't avoid all fantastical Faustian films forever.

WOLFtober is over, but I'm sick, so how about some more werewolf garbage?

You know how sometimes you want the stupid over-the-top mega-action of Mad Max, but you also don't want to have to watch a stupid Mad Max?

Mike Flanagan is one of my favorite directors, but Stephen King adaptations are cursed to nearly always be awful.

Hana, a first-year university student, falls in love with the homeless guy who is secretly auditing her class.

It looks like it was shot on Super-8, as the film quality is terrible and the framerate seems off, even though it's from 2010.

Probably the first WOLFtober entry that was nominated for entry into the Academy Awards (it was declined), it is considered one of the best Argentine films ever made, and is one of the most known and most viewed.

The tenth out of twelve Naschy films about a wolf man named Count Waldemar Daninsky, a Spanish-language film shot in Japan.

There are people out there giving this movie 1.5 star reviews.

Grigory, a mild-mannered and somewhat socially awkward middle-aged man working at a printing house decides to step up and boldly ask for a promotion from his boss and a date from the coworker he's attracted to.