selfaware soup

I’m in the process of completing my video setup.

Until I was around 25 years old, I don’t think I’ve ever seen a happy man.

The overall intesity of … life … isn’t going down it seems.

I’ve been getting back into Rust again lately and I think I overcame a minor but annoying hurdle in understanding what kinds of usage the compiler actually encourages.

This week was Pride week in Berlin, which in Germany generally happens later than in most of the anglo-sphere, sometimes extending all the way into August in some German cities.

I’m shamefully stealing the idea of weekly journal posts from several other friends and people I follow on Twitter.

Trans-Feindliche Agitation nimmt im Kontext des geplanten Selbstbestimmungsgesetztes auch in Deutschland stark zu.

(A German translation of this article is also available.)

A lot of people I speak to have yet had little contact with the crypto world, by which I mean anything surrounding public blockchains, crypto-currensies like Bitcoin, Non-Fungible Tokens aka NFTs and the idea of web3 that is built on top of all that.

Reni Eddo-lodge: Why I’m No Longer Talking to White People About Race Lisa Marie Cacho: Social Death Amy Heart and various authors: Resilience Judith Butler - Gender Trouble Falguni A.

Recently I dabbled a bit in creating art from code.

(CN Gewalt, Schule, sexualler Mißbrauch, Vergewaltigung) Die Süddeutsche Zeitung veröffentlichte heute einen Artikel in dem einige Prominente aus dem deutschsprachigen Raum Fragen zu ihrer Schulzeit beantworten.

There are three options for seatposts on a Brompton bicycle: standard, extended, and telescopic.

Over the last few days I used most of my spare time to clean out my Facebook profile.

Because the “neo-vaginas are wounds that close of they’re not dilated daily” nonsense is going around again, here’s some education based on actual first hand experience: First: no, this “open wound” claim is simply not true.

(archived Twitter thread) If my live was a tv show, I think right now would be season 4. 🔗 What are the seasons so far?

I have a bone to pick with Star Trek Discovery’s portrayal of fascism.

These are cinnamon rolls with an extra filling of chocolate, apple and orange, adapted from a recipe for vegan cinnamon rolls.

Content warnings: dysphoria, medical transition, sex Two years ago today I woke up after about six hours of gender affirming surgery.

Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about what kind of progress we have made in software engineering over the 2010s, especially on the user facing side, and it’s been quite depressing.

Although there is a dedicated APOSTROPHE (U+0027) character, the one you should actually use is RIGHT SINGLE QUOTATION MARK (U+2019), but it gets worse … On a Mac, if you press the key that suggests to enter a RIGHT SINGLE QUOTATION MARK, because it’s on…

by Esther Weidauer A short story, inspired by the horror anthology podcast The Magnus Archives Content warnings: agoraphobia, autophobia, tachophobia There’s also a PDF version for offline reading.

I October 2020 I wrote a thread on Twitter about the differences in video quality between different webcams and light sources.

Diese Beiträge sind entweder ursprünglich in Deutsch verfasst worden oder aus dem Englischen übersetzt: 2014-02-14 Warum ich Angst habe 2018-09-23 Egal was, es war falsch 2018-12-07 Wie ich mich selbst fand 2019-03-08 Frauenkampftag und Solidarität

Impressions of a transitioned body I love to stretch my legs so far that it almost hurts to feel the muscles and tendons in them the skin around them all pieces a little straining being fully aware of them then relaxing and while the strain fades still fe…

One thing about mental health recovery that’s been keeping me up lately is this feeling that you’re not really allowed to get better.

(CN: emotional abuse, sexual assault, mental illness) Writing about my experiences has proven to be a very effective way for me to process things.

Changing names and email addresses on various accounts is something very common for trans people after coming out.

Sayonara Wild Hearts is a great game with awesome music and visual style, but there’s more to it.

Longer writings (📄), short notes (📝) and archived Twitter threads (🐦) relevant to my trans experience, in chronological order: 2014-02-14 📄 Why I’m Scared 2018-09-23 📄 Every Way Was Wrong 2018-12-06 🐦 #ThisIsGenderDysphoria 2018-12-07 📄 How I Found Myself…

CN: dysphoria, medical transition, sex It’s June 2020, technically Pride month, although certainly one of the more unusual ones this year.

As of today, 11th of March 2020, an increasing number of companies have decided to require people to work from home if possible to contain the spread of COVID-19.

2019 is coming to an end today, as are the 2010s, and what a time it has been.

So, I’m playing through Dark Souls 1 for the first time (before I never made it past Sen’s Fortress but I have watched a playthrough).

(archived Twitter thread) Ok, lets talk about voice training … https://twitter.com/barldarian/status/1194020814326247425 I’ve been doing professional voice training (because German health insurance pays for that without too much hassle) for about two years

(archived Twitter thread) Thread about effects of different cis people bullshit: (of course, my own perspective, ymmv) I think a lot of people assume that the worst kind of hurtful communication towards trans people is the literal nazi trolls who tell you…

Just finished reading “The Manager’s Path” by Camille Fournier.

Generally, the practical advice in Radical Candor is solid.

Content notes: gender dysphoria, medical transition, suicidal thoughts, self-harm, sexual violence A german translation of this post is available.

Teil 1: "Große" GaOP Update September 2020: Korrektur-OP (Teil 2) Im April 2019 hatte ich meine Vulva- und Vaginoplastik-OP.

This started as a Twitter thread but I think it makes sense to have it here in one piece: When interviewing people for senior/leadership positions, I never directly ask them about what they think about diversity and inclusion efforts.

Vor kurzem stand ich bei Ze.tt vor der Kamera und sprach darüber, was ich zum Frauenkampftag fordere.

In “Toward a Political Philosophy of Race” Falguni A.

Spoiler Warning for The Force Awakens, The Last Jedi and Star Wars in general.

This is part two of a series of posts about my trans experience.

(archived tweets with the #ThisIsGenderDysphoria hashtag) For years not seeing a dentist and not getting a sick note even when seriously ill because your health insurance still is under your deadname and being misgendered in front of the entire waiting ro…

I often hear that people in tech should be “passionate” about their work.

Content warning: gender dysphoria, trans-hostility, self-harm, violence, sexual assault Over four years ago I wrote about the violence and abuse I experienced as a child and teenager, what that did to me and how I live with it.

About 5 months ago I went from engineer to engineering team lead, doing much more management than programming since then.

I wanted to read “Gender Trouble” because it is so widely considered a cornerstone work of contemporary feminist theory.