Writing Wholeness

There was never a reason to learn, but usually I don't explain that piece immediately Childhood was learning how to hide within metaphors, keeping safe within tangles of alternate reality daydreams, outrunning the pain on the seat of a bicycle I would cra…

I've seen him in the halls Taking away empty beds from the unit Returning them newly occupied Paper blue scrubs and a cap Always a smile Brighter than scialytic lamps Always a "How ya doin'?"

"Everything is going to be ok."

“You just haven’t been yourself lately.”

I say I need time away I say I need sunshine I say I need peace The truth is I didn’t know what pulled me here To the red rocks The snowy mountains The never-ending miles of sand and cacti The purpose never reveals itself easily I’m not chasing theoretical

The ache is impossibly, frustratingly familiar The pattern is only visible in hindsight I’m told with more therapy I’ll see it sooner Next time Must I do this all over again?

On consumption: “Eat me up” I don’t say it But it underlies The catch of a glance When we pass in an empty hallway The downward pitch in his tone When he isn’t allowed to speak the words The lingering fingertips When I pass him an FYI And I’m cooked Char…

It’s taken months (Of watching the clock tick second by second) It’s taken clarity of mind (While scrubbing off the grime of seeping wounds now reopened) It’s taken reflection (While reminding myself that I am safely tucked away in 2025 amidst echoes of 1…

I can measure the time since I’ve last felt her breath on my neck By the angle at which I carry myself through this world Standing taller Straighter I am older And wiser Than the last time she was released The low rumble of a chuckle Accompanied by the ac…

My daily struggle is mourning Everything I can’t remember about my past Everything I don’t know about where I came from Everything I was never taught and had to learn on my own All of it adding up to an undeveloped identity Put on the back burner when the…