Content-Type: text/shitpost

The woman at the supermarket checkout counter this morning had a nametag that said “Fatoumata”, \and my brain just wouldn't stop yelling at me that this was obviously the plural of “Fatouma”.

Wow, this Erbaut guy sure did design a lot of buildings.

Anuary Bebruary Carch Dapril Eay Fune Guly Haugust Ieptember Joctober Kovember Lecember

A while back I wrote about the time I didn't eat the gizzards: At some point I passed by a little restaurant in the middle of nowhere away from everything else, and since it was dinner time, I went in.

Sounds like something a cartoon farmer would yell if they saw their cows getting out.

According to the New York MetrOpOlitan Museum of Art: The pigeon-breasted silhouette favored in the first decade of the twentieth century was called the monobosom.

Last night I was making a frittata after midnight, and midnight brain suggested to me that I should make a pie of partidges and parsnips, seasoned with parsley.

I want to ask Claude's advice about this, just to see what it will say.

…in order of suitability as designs for novelty butt plugs.

Your momma's a dispersion of Ugly colloidally suspended in a continuous lipid phase.

Q: Why is ‘Z’ the least common letter in English?

It's not fair that there are people who want big bags under their eyes who can't have them because Philip Glass is monopolizing the entire supply.

I've annoyed a lot of people in my life, but here's something I said once that I think really stands out.

If the Mormons don't want me to call them “Mormons” then they should come up with a name for themselves that doesn't require me to acknowledge that they are “saints”.

Me and the family have been on the road recently, and yesterday we saw a food-grade tanker truck in the next lane.

Are Salisbury and Salzburg sister cities?

“In a signal handler, can I…” “No.”

In Blue Highways, author William Least Heat-Moon states that that the town with the silliest name in the U.S. is Intercourse, Pennsylvania.

This article about finding drowned bodies with quicksilver-filled bread says: A loaf of bread was then filled with “over two ounces of quicksilver,” then thrown into the water I was annoyed that the original source said this, because I found it unclear.

Today I'm feeling happy about the phrase "all up in my grill".

What if there were a Jehovah's Witness splindere sect that took the Tolkien legendarium as literally true?

People like to have fainting fits to show off how horrified they are about pineapple pizza, or Hawai‘ian pizza (pineapple plus ham) but I think it's pretty good and those people need to get a grip or find a less silly hobby.

Reminder: Anyone can edit Wikipedia and make it better...

What famous actors have the oddest names?