# Malady Memoirs - Heaps of Pretension

I've been doing something I've been putting off (and kind of failing at it) this morning.

there are too many words and none of them can be said

The tatters of my cherished life feel too tight on my body - bloated by the pitch in my veins, slowing my heart, desaturating and fogging my machinations.

I feel the space between my cells growing.

I think something left me on the beach that day.

I have sat and watched the waves on this colorless beach and waited.

How do you reconcile frowns and disbelief while your friends fight while terrified to survive against their government?

We're set to repeat atrocities we swore to never forget in the span of a century with new and horrendous methods and disconnected ease, ordinance released not by triggers but by touch screens, charred bodies consoled by thoughts and prayers, debated by wh…

A rumbling, a distant thrumming through the blackout curtain draped over my sleeping body.

A quiet sigh and softening of focus.