a lone wave

I am thinking of writing a fanfic.

I am starting with the date titles since I decided to open this blog as a private outlet for my inner world, to peak out you know hehe.

I decided to take some steps for my self as such - Quitting the soul draining job I had.

My depression is going hard and steady and no light seems to show up anytime soon, I need like a cave man learn to ignite my own fire.

When I am thinking of it, my time seems meaningless with the several decades I have lived on this Earth.

I have taken to my attention the fact that I am writing less and less.

Interestingly when I am looking back to how things were emotionally a month ago, comparing it to the present I have come into the conclusion that all the time I invested, all this time I suffered - not worth the end result.

I just don't want to wake up at all but I must because I don't feel like I have any choice, because obviously I need to sustain myself...

Even if I know the goal is important - I can't blame but myself with the lack of consistency.

Shame I have my own commitments which I was not signing up to.