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I'm not a real runner, I'm just offsetting the pints

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  1. Why would anyone run a marathon by doing laps in a park?

    (I'm not a real runner, I'm just offsetting the pints)

    Well, let me tell you a story.

  2. How did you start running solo marathons?

    (I'm not a real runner, I'm just offsetting the pints)

    In my childhood, I was an absolutely unsportive kid.

  3. What's your time?

    (I'm not a real runner, I'm just offsetting the pints)

    I fuckin' hate it when people ask me what's my time.