Mrs. Cotton

There has been a rather unfortunate misunderstanding in my household.

There has been a rather significant development in my household.

There comes a time in every household when one must assess whether one’s staff are receiving sufficient professional development.

Today is the female human’s birthday.

My humans have finally paid an official visit to Mila, the newest member of my Circle of Friendship.

There are several enormous spiders in my house.

This morning, I sent the male human out to exercise.

After a long and demanding first week following their holiday, I decided my humans were beginning to show signs of fatigue.

I need to address a rumour.

There are moments when even a Queen must acknowledge that her kingdom has become a little quieter.

There has been a significant development in my household.

It has come to my attention that the female human believes I give more attention to the male human.

I have recently been informed that my humans were on holiday.

There are days when even a queen has very little to say.

There appears to be some confusion in my household about the meaning of the word empty.

This afternoon, a new recruit reported for training.

This morning, my male-human woke up to discover Miss Moo Moo Longtail underneath him.

There comes a moment in every well-run household when one must accept that the training department needs to expand.

This morning, I arrived for inspection at 7:30.

Today, I regret to report a serious breach of trust within my household.

I have been informed that a new young gentleman has joined my Ring of Friendship.

Today is an important day in my household.

I am pleased to report that the recent decision to leave the doors open at night has been met with my approval.

Today is a particularly important date in the household calendar: the male-human is celebrating his birthday.

Tonight, the doors will remain open.

There was a time, before I took up my present royal appointment, when I lived in Enschede and answered to the name Jutta.

Miss Moo Moo Longtail has once again been under the knife.

My Dearest Nieces of the North, I was utterly delighted to receive your handwritten communication in the form of a proper letter.

King Charles and Queen Camilla appeared at the opening of the Commonwealth Games in Glasgow by stepping out of Doctor Who’s TARDIS.

A ginger tom from the neighbourhood came to assist me with an unexpected security inspection today.

By the time my humans believe the house has settled for the night, my real work begins.

My female human is coming home, and I can hardly wait.

Yesterday, my humans committed the same household offence they have committed many times before.

Saturday mornings are an important part of my household administration.

The weekend is nearly upon us, which means my humans will once again be at home for a full twenty-four hours a day.