The Village of Middle Woe

POSTED AT THE MANOR GATE By authority of the Manor...

POSTED AT THE MANOR GATE Be it known throughout the village...

POSTED AT THE MANOR GATE The following notice is issued for immediate compliance.

POSTED AT THE MANOR GATE To all householders of Middle Woe, Last night’s storm has turned the parish windmill backwards.

POSTED AT THE MANOR GATE Notice is hereby given, Owing to the excessive reporting of minor ailments, the Office of the Manorial Clerk regrets to announce that the village is presently experiencing a shortage of official quills.

POSTED AT THE DOOR OF ALL HALLOWS CHURCH To the faithful of Middle Woe, In an effort to encourage good conduct amongst the parish, I have reluctantly agreed to introduce the Parish Turnip Reward Scheme.

TO ALL HOUSEHOLDERS OF THE MANOR OF MIDDLE WOE Good morrow, It has been observed that several oxen have taken it upon themselves to plough their own furrows.

Let it be known, that following routine inspection, the bridge over the River Woe has been declared structurally unsound.

NOTICE IS HEREBY GIVEN that certain Parishioners have been observed in flagrant breach of proper herb-substitution conduct, namely the wearing, wielding, fastening, flourishing, dangling, balancing, or otherwise displaying parsley, nettles, and turnip pee…

Notice is hereby given, A shortage of official Parish Protection Herbs (rosemary sprigs) has been reported.

Let it be known, there has been an increase in the number of residents with summer related illnesses, and the apothecary cannot keep up with demand.