The Etymology Nerd

Media freaks love when a Weird Thing Happens.

I’m back on schizogram again.

“You’re home!

The fake deli on Leonard Street opened about a year ago.

We are in a culture of optimization, which means we are in a culture of slop.

When a heroin addict unknowingly overdoses on fentanyl, who do you blame?

I’ll never forget that fourth Knicks game.

I don’t usually notice that I’m wearing glasses.

There is a countercultural revolution spreading across the United States.

Did you know Kehlani released a fifth album?

A few weeks ago, the New York Times published an excellent investigation exposing how the United States Mint buys its gold from Colombian drug cartels, despite a law that it should only purchase legally mined American gold.

We get more calls than we used to.

I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by brainrot, gooning doomscrolling bedrotting, dissociating themselves through the enshittified ragebait clickbait looking for a dopamine fix, nonchalant doomers repressing the AI overview of the starry dyna…

What do you feel when I ask you to compare these two images?

“Do you believe we are in a goondemic?”

Over the past year, I’ve been increasingly vexed by a sign outside my local gym telling me to “feel more vibes.”

Something strange is happening with fruits on the internet.

I’m a child in kindergarten, repeating the word “eraser” over and over again.

In 1957, the American psychologist Harry Harlow conducted an infamous experiment where baby rhesus monkeys were given the choice between two different “mothers”: one made of wire and one made of cloth.

Our destiny is optimized but hollow.

I’ve spent a lot of time debating whether I should write this essay at all.

My favorite Instagram page over the past few months has been 123rollenbaan.nl, which appears to be the marketing account of a Dutch conveyor belt company.