Dave Barry’s Substack

To understand today’s topic, you need to know about GTA.

My wife, Michelle Kaufman, is a sportswriter.

Recently Popular Mechanics published an article with the following headline, which I am not making up: This story was brought to my attention by alert reader Thomas Gibson, M.D., and I immediately knew it was important, because Popular Mechanics has long…

I don’t mean to brag, but I am something of a minor celebrity.

Modern technology is truly a miracle.

It’s a Sunday morning, and Michelle and I are wandering through an upscale shopping complex.

It’s time we got serious about this Canadian smoke problem.

Before we get to today’s topic, here’s a brief: WORLD CUP EPILOGUE My wife, Michelle Kaufman, a professional sportswriter, covered the World Cup for the Miami Herald, and as a perk she was given a small piece of the actual sod on which the soccer matches…

Today’s Substack is for the estimated fourteen people out there who have not seen The Odyssey.

My topic today is: Why we’re not getting enough sleep.

So I’m in a dental chair, and it’s not going well.

I’m a Florida Man.

Tomorrow is July 4, 2026, and if you’re a student of American history, you know what that means: It means I’ll be trying to recover from celebrating my 79th birthday, which is today.

Our topic today is: Sex.

Sunday is Father’s Day, a time when we pause to appreciate Dad, and the special qualities that make him Dad, such as a willingness to admit that he farts.

Recently I became concerned about zinc.

The family vacation road trip is a beloved American tradition dating back to 1846, when the Donner family traveled all the way from Illinois to California, where, unfortunately, they got stuck and wound up eating each other.

Without question, the greatest single event in the history of France — at least that I, personally, was involved in — happened on the night of July 12, 1998.

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Men are not perfect.

We are fortunate that we live in modern times, unlike our ancestors, who lived in the past.

Members of the Class of 2026: As I stand before you today, preparing to deliver your commencement address, I am reminded of the advice I once received from a very wise man.